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Sheep Slave · Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 6:52 am Post subject:

Well, I can say that even though I don't have a clue about the game thing I can still get into the story just fine. You write good.

(Obviously I haven't read it all yet LOL!)

The only thing I have to say... because I'm all OCD about it... is... overuse of commas. **Cringe** Don't hate me!

I'll just leave it at that. Smile

Another baby wails for my attention. It's as if they have a built-in sensor chip that alerts them to the fact that mom is daring to relax.
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Nerroth · Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 10:38 am Post subject:

Thank you!

Yeah, one day I'll have to go through it with a fine toothcomb and try to iron out some of the editing issues.

(Plus, I'll have to change the name of the ship Unicron built for Galvatron. When I wrote that part of the story, I hadn't seen an official name, so I called it the Nightmare. However, the Ark compendium now calls it the Revenge. I still like Nightmare better, though I'm sure I can find another Decepticon ship to call that!)

If you need any help with identifying the Type-Moon characters, or even just getting an idea as to what they look like, let me know and I'll see what I can do.
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Sheep Slave · Posted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 2:23 pm Post subject:

The silence has been deafening! But I haven't been ignoring you.

I like your set up at the beginning. Makes it nice and clear about what's going on ~ something about this mysterious creature being able to jump to different, uh, ... parellel universes?? Well, when I'm actually reading your story I can follow it fine. Trying to pull your terminology out of my brain is another story!

Anyhoo, the beginning of your story offered just enough bait on the hook to reel me in and leave me wondering, "What next? What in the world (universe?) is going on here??"

You're a good hand at describing things. I enjoy a read if I can "see" what's going on in my imagination, somewhat like I'm watching a movie.

I haven't gotten very far ~ I'm reading two other fan-fics as well as writing my own short story so I can get my rusty creative gears moving again. I haven't done much writing since I got pregnant with the twins back in May! My brain is a bit stiff lol
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My sheep can beat your sheep any day. So there!
http://sheepslave.deviantart.com/

Nerroth · Posted: Wed Mar 31, 2010 2:08 pm Post subject:

Thanks again!

Also, again, take your time - and ask me (in here or via PM) if there are any details I need to clarify about whos, whats and wheretofores.
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