IDW Publishing Forums

[Iacon_Pax]

Sadly, you don't do fair credit to just how awkward it is when Optimus tells the other Autobots to just leave Skids behind. Though, I suppose it is necessary, in order to provide the brilliant carwash scene of next issue...

[temple]

Issue #20: Showdown!

Okay, so judging by the cover, this issue features Skids and... some sort of cowgirl... facing off against Megatron. Ummm... my money's on Megatron, even though he does appear to be suffering from a nasty case of the rickets. He's also saying, "This town ain't big enough for the both of us, Autobot -- DRAW!' First of all, when did he start using sloppy English? "Ain't", Megatron? You're never going to rule the universe with poor elocution like that. Second, "draw?" They both have their guns attached to their arms!

Troublesome coverage aside, we kick off with some hot Ravage-on-the-hunt action. What's he hunting? Why, not-a-Jewish-stereotype Donny Finkleberg, of course, who has found time while fleeing for his life to bravely steal some clothes from some campers. Never leave your tent unattended, folks! It gets worse for the absent ramblers as well; Ravage promptly sniffs out the discarded Robot-Master costume and blows it up. But what's this? No Donnie bits! Oh teh noes!

That was a little too exciting, so we switch to a nearby market where Charlene (Yup, #3 if you've been reading along) is blithely ignoring the pathetic advances of her coworker Wendell. And with good cause; the guy's dull as dishwater, whereas you can tell Charlene #3 is adventurous because of her cowboy hat and that big speech about adventures she gives.

The pair of them stumble across the p0wned Skids after work, and Wendell, who really, REALLY wants to get some, suggests they take him to his cousin Bob, the "Sparkplug of the West" as they probably don't call him. Duly fixed, the brave Autobot decides to duck out of the whole interstellar war thing and just be a regular van for a while (yeah, I know he's not a van, but that's how they've drawn him here, a'right?)

Little did he reckon on... JAKE DALRYMPLE, the relentless stalker of all that is good in the universe. He and his long-suffering wife Frannie just happen to run into Skids again (small world, huh?), and so the awesome clash of titans is back on. Even... JAKE DALRYMPLE's awesome vehicular skills are no match for Cybertron's finest, though, and he ends up covered in paint and vowing an unholy vengeance such as would shake the heavens.

Thing is, something about the fact that her van can drive along walls has aroused Charlene #3's suspicions, and Skids has to come clean. Luckily, his hologram recording of More Than Meets The Eye episodes 1-3 convinces her that he's not one of those KILLER robots; he's a nice cuddly robot. Let's face it, he's a step up from Wendell either way.

Charlene #3 teaches her new 'bot pal about her love for the old west, and her undying ambivalence for Wendell, despite even an alien robot having figured out that he likes her in that 'special' way. She rebuffs the poor sap's invitation to a movie... why? Because she's already lined up some HOT GIRL-ON-VAN ACTION. Yuss, that's right; never has the phrase "would you polish my hubcaps again?" made you feel more like having a shower. Dirty Bob! I'm not even going to start on "How'd you like a wax and buff job afterward?" (incidentally, the exact same words Wendell's been longing to hear).

The horribly sexual escapades of Skids n' his gal pal are short-lived, though, as not-a-Jewish-stereotype Donnie Finkleberg bursts onto the scene ("Admit it -- that's an AUTOBOT you're sudsing!") and demands to be taken to the other 'Bots. Even worse, he's led Ravage right to them! A hectic chase ensues, in which Ravage narrowly misses killing Larry David (seriously, page 157; he's right there!). What could be more terrifying? Why, the almighty... JAKE DALRYMPLE joining the pursuit. All of them end up at an old ghost town, and Skids ends up getting trashed by... JAKE DALRYMPLE and his tyre iron of ultimate destruction.

Cue bizarre Lynchian dream sequence in which Skids must face Megatron to save Charlene #3... and is blown to smithereens. That's right, you guys; the cover was a complete fakeout. Don't you feel cheated? Back in the real world, Ravage arrives to finish the job on the hapless 'Bot. Sadly for the kitteh, he's reckoned without... JAKE DALRYMPLE, badassedness personified, who promptly ploughs his beloved sportscar straight through the dastardly feline.

This gives Skids enough time to recover and go one-on-one with Ravage, although it still seems like he's gonna buy it until... BIG HOLE COVERED IN FLIMSY WOOD, the saboteur's only weakness. Ravage takes a one-way trip down a mine shaft, and Skids is free to pursue his bizarre relationship with Charlene #3... or is he?

Instead, he decides to go back to the Ark and the other Autobots (dunno why, they pretty much hung him out to dry last ish) and convinces Charlene #3 to give up her dreams and settle for Wendell. That's right, girls of the eighties! Aspirations are only for those with a Y chromosome; Uncle Bob says so!

YOMTOV WATCH!
Because his name is an anagram of Only Move Snot

Fixed!
-After the dream sequence, Charlene's top is no longer coloured orange instead of pink!

Not fixed!
-Skids' torso is still coloured red on the cover!
_________________
You exist because we allow it. You will end because we demand it.

Oh, and OK to print...

[Iacon_Pax]

Thanks again for doing this. Thoroughly entertaining as always.

[temple]

[Iacon_Pax]

[temple]

Issue #21: Aerialbots Over America!

Boy, that sure is a lot of planes on the cover. Check out those Aerialbots bravely raining fiery death down on the Coneheads... who, uh, have decided to go pedestrian for the moment. Hey, Bots, you HAVE realised that there are a bunch of humans standing amongst the Decepticons you're carpet-bombing? ...you have? ...extraordinary rendition? What does that mean?

For those of you worried that we'd see some boring giant robots this issue, don't fret; Uncle Bob's got your back. Instead we get Ricky Vasquez, his charming wife Carmen, and his small daughter Maria. Poor ol' Ricky's got to work on Independence Day, but he PROMISES his kid that he'll take her to the fireworks later. Guess the guy hasn't seen... uh, ANY action movies; he may as well have just bought a yacht called the 'Live-4-Ever'.

Indeed, no sooner has Ricky headed off to work then he falls under the thrall of a patented Bombshell whammy. See, our good pal Ricky happens to be the Assistant Chief Engineer of the nearby hydroelectric dam. Um, I guess the actual CHIEF Engineer uses better bug spray or something. We see Megatron and the Insecticons have a completely natural conversation about how the 'Cons have fixed the space bridge (despite everyone involved actually knowing that fact - thanks, expositional Bob), and then Bombshell makes Ricky lick his foot. Why? Because he's a @%$&, that's why!

So the Rickster ends up taking Megatron to work... and OMG, it's on the day a tourist group is having a tour! My word, it's like a seventies disaster movie starring Charlton Heston and the late Ernest Borgnine, isn't it? Our hero bursts into the control room (with a little help from a back-kicking Kickback) and holds the crew at Megatron-point. "Turn off the dam," he tells them. Quick! To the Dam Off Switch!

At the Ark, not-a-Jewish-stereotype Donnie Finkleberg is trying to tell the Autobots about the new arrivals from Cybertron, but they're not particularly bothered. Optimus expresses heartwarming dull surprise at Skids's survival: "I'm pleased you are still functional, Skids. We thought you were dead." Yeah? Well, I'm sure he's pleased you didn't leave him to rot at the bottom of a cliff. Oh, wait, that's exactly what you did. Jerk.

The good guys hear about the dam situation, and decide that this is a perfect opportunity to test out the five new Autobots they've made just this minute. Hey, Wheeljack hasn't finished programming their personalities or anything, but anything to get out of having to go yourselves, eh, original Autobots?

At the dam, Ricky's wife and kid rock up, having heard the news. Turns out your daddy's a terrorist, kiddo. Who knew? To make matters worse, Megs summons the space bridge and gets the conehead seekers to guard the place. But what's this? Something else coming through the bridge? It's... its... my sweet lord, it's Megatron's GIANT DEFORMED ROBOT PENIS... uh, I mean 'giant drill bit', here to penetrate the vulnerable dam in a way that's certainly not sick and wrong.

Meanwhile, Jetfire and not-a-Jewish-stereotype Donnie Finkleberg are hot on the trail of Blaster and his pals, while having a rather regrettable conversation about 'ballobots' and 'basketrek'... let's never mention this again, hmmm? All they find is a trail... of TRANSFORMER FUEL. BUM BUM BUMMMMMM!

The Aerialbots show up at the dam, which is still being horribly violated by Megatron's phallic superweapon. They take on the Decepticon jets in one of those hilarious battles in which everyone takes turns to use their Special Action Feature. The good guys don't do that well, largely due to Silverbolt being afraid of heights.

...

...and he was the one with the FINISHED programming. Great job, Wheeljack! Another winner from the same guy that brought you "Dinobots with tiny brains!" (Yeah, I know... a little cross-medium reference there for ya.) What can the the Aerialbots do? Why, turn into Superion, of course! He manages to stop the drill, but he's forgotten about Ricky Vasquez and his HANDGUN OF DOOM. Unfortunately for Megatron, the appearance of Ricky's daughter causes him to snap out of it and blast the spacebridge instead, putting a kibosh on the whole wacky scheme.

Guess everyone came out of it okay... uh, apart from poor old Ricky. The local law would like to "take you down to headquarters for, um... some questioning." Something tells me this questioning might involve a dayglo orange jumpsuit and some simulated drowning. But his kid saw some fireworks (of a kind), so I guess that'll be a comfort to him.

What's this? The headquarters of RAAT (Rapid Anti-Robot Assault Team... hang on a minute, that's RARAT)? Blaster and his group of pals? Without heads? CIRCUIT BREAKER? SOMEONE GET ME A LARGE SCOTCH AND SOME MOIST TOWELLETTES!

YOMTOV WATCH!
Because he is the kwisatz haderach

Not fixed!
-Dirge's wings and cockpit are strangely pink on pages 177 and 182!
-Ramjet has big uncoloured patched on page 183!
-Blaster's head is blue!
_________________
You exist because we allow it. You will end because we demand it.

Oh, and OK to print...

[temple]

Issue #22: Heavy Traffic!

Mercy, but that's a big ol' Menasor. Just... Menasor... staring out at you. He looks kinda angry. Or maybe he's lifting a heavy weight. Maybe one of the Stunticons plugged into the wrong slot or something. That sure is a boring border they have around him, too. You know what would have fit there quite nicely? A whole bunch of popular superheroes from another comics company, possibly to celebrate an anniversary of some kind. But I guess plain lilac is good too, whatever...

We start off with an episode of MST3K, with Barnett and Circuit Breaker watching a bad B-movie about Blaster and his buddies, and interjecting with pithy comments and middlingly funny jokes. Hey, kinda like I'm doing here, but, y'know, middlingly funny. Anyways, the movie ends with CB taking the whole team down with her wacky electro-powers and dragging them away.

Barnett, who is obviously trying to be less of a MASSIVE JERK than in his previous appearances, tries to suggest talking to the battered 'Bots, which sends Josie off on one of her trademark unhinged anti-robot rants. Count yourself lucky, Barnett; at least she isn't showing a flashback to being electrocuted agai-oh, there it is. See, this is why she doesn't get invited to cocktail parties. Well, that and the gratuitous nudity.

At the Ark, Ratchet is studying Optimus's corroded underarms; rather him than me. Bombshell, who hitched a ride back with one of the Aerialbots last issue, takes this awkward medical opportunity to slap a shell into the great leader. Not-a-Jewish-stereotype Donny Finkleberg is still trying to convince the 'Bots that he's on the up, but seeing as instead of finding Blaster they only found an EXTREMELY SUSPICIOUS TRAIL OF AUTOBOT FUEL, Skids just wants to slap him around. Mind you, he's probably still pi$$ed that he's missing out on all those hot wax jobs from Charlene #3.

By withholding not-a-Jewish-stereotype Donny's paycheque, Skids managed to blackmail him into heading off on another trip, with a certain Insecticon again along for the ride. Optimus takes the opportunity to finish up Matrixing the Aerialbots, unaware that Bombshell's... uh, shell lets Megatron steal the same signal for his brand spanking new Stunticons. How? ROBO-MAGIC.

Skids briefly halts his road trip to help out an endangered motorist, which just proves to Circuit Breaker what a HEARTLESS B&$TARD he is. Unaware that both Batsh&$ Beller and the Stunticons are after them, Skids calls a halt for the night and asks not-a-Jewish-stereotype Donny Finkleberg to hit his off button for him.

...

...hang on a minute, Bob. Not only do Transformers have an 'off button', but they require another, passenger-sized person to push it for them? How the hell did that evolve? Somebody tell Circuit Breaker; she's been wasting her time with all those fancy laser blasts; all she has to do is push the obvious red button...

The next day, no sooner have our not-so-intrepid heroes set off again, than those metal meanies the Stunticons pick a fight. Check out Motormaster dual-wielding a sword and a gun. You would have thought a sword would be useless in a society where pretty much everybody carries massive long-range projectile weapons, but that just shows how little you know. Possibly it's a gun disguised as a sword, I dunno.

The 'Cons do surprisingly well against the lone Autobot and his cowardly comicbook writer comrade... at least until RAAT turns up, that is. Cue the old electric whammy, although this is where Motormaster's tactics pay off. You see, instead of shooting Circuit Breaker, which obviously wouldn't work because science, he uses his sword to... swipe a truck... into the air... hitting her... look, I didn't write it, okay?

Just then, the Aerialbots arrive to muddy the waters further; Circuit Breaker is gonna take them down, but not-a-Jewish-stereotype Donny Finkleberg tries to convince her they're the good guys. However, the Stunticons, who are pretty sneaky for guys that were only built the day before, pretend to be Skids's pal, setting her off again. I sense another electrocution flashback around the corner...

She's distracted long enough to allow the teams to go all Voltron, though, bringing us our first GESTALT-ON-GESTALT SMACKDOWN! Hoo-hah! I mean, if giant robots fighting are cool, then even gianter robots has to be much cooler, right? And I'm sure that with Josie's unerring instinct for choosing the right side in a fight, she'll do something to help the Autobo-oh, she's taken Superion down. My god, but you suck, Josie. That has apparently used up all her floaty powers as well, so it's a good thing Barnett suddenly becomes an IMPLAUSIBLE ACTION HERO and swings past to save her. Yeah, I said swings. From a helicopter. Yes, that would work.

Skids n' his human pal do the Autobot thing and leave the downed combiner behind (hey, turnabout is fair play, eh, Skids?), while RAAT beat a hasty retreat as well. They obviously don't know thet could just turn Menasor off with his built-in red button.

Speaking of red buttons, Skids has himself shutdown for the night. Good thing he has such a trustworthy partner, and he isn't blackmailing him into coming along or anything. I mean, if there's someone you can trust not to switch you off, then sell you to RAAT for fifty grand while you're deactivated, it's not-a-Jewish-stereotype Donny Finkleberg.

...

Oh.

YOMTOV WATCH!
Because they're in the walls, man, they're all around us, man, they're in the freaking walls

Not fixed!
-Menasor's helmet is strangely green instead of black!
_________________
You exist because we allow it. You will end because we demand it.

Oh, and OK to print...

[Bass X0]

[temple]

Issue #23: Decepticon Graffiti!

Against a frightening BLOOD RED SKY, a couple of Transformers with jetfeet hover around the Statue of Liberty while assorted helicopters and troops shoot at them. I've gotta give kudos to the one guy who's rappelling down the statue's book; the rest of his team are just kind of sitting on her head, but he obviously wanted a more dangerous perch for his completely ineffective gunfire. Why are the humans so pi$$ed? Well, the pesky robots have written 'HUMANS ARE WIMPS' on the statue, the rotters. Although... the 's's are the wrong way round. We're meant to think that these immortal robots can travel across the cosmos, but they don't know which way round to draw an s? Jeez, it's like ROTF all over again...

Circuit Breaker, who's looking kinda mellow for an insane robot-focused vigilante, is toying around with a tiny ball of circuits that turns out to be Skids's brain. Mercy, imagine how tiny the Dinobots' brains must be; you could lose them in an ashtray, I'd imagine. Skids is at the mercy of this torture because that no-good fink, not-a-Jewish-stereotype Donnie Finkleberg, ratted him out for a bunch of green and a steady RAAT job.

Mind you, even he seems to be having second thoughts, although if I was him I wouldn't mention those misgivings to CB in case it sets off one of her rambling electrocution flashbacks... oh, there she goes. Seriously, even people who have never READ Transformers must know about her origin by now, Bob.

When she's not rambling on, she's collecting more Autobot faces; she's got the Aerialbots now. Why does she take the faces off? %$£&ed if I know; must be one of her fetishes, like her penchant for wearing leftover tinfoil.

Megatron has summoned those pint-size poltroons Runabout and Runamuck over from Cybertron so that they can invite Optimus Prime to a duel to the death. Poor ol' Soundwave suggests that he could just give the Ark a ring on his robo-phone, and gets a muffler to the mush for his trouble. Yeah, Soundwave! Logical plot progression has no place in THIS toy advert!

The little pair head off, with Runamuck displaying a rather creepy laugh that's a bit like a mechanised Beavis. They pretty much immediately give up on Megatron's plan (maybe he should have given Soundwave a little more of a hearing and a little less muffler, huh?), and then run into little Noah, a hellish child whose only character traits are his love of graffiti and his incredible capacity for being a little $%!£. Oh, how I loathe that child. If only he had appeared in a Marvel UK story, then maybe it might have ended with him being fround to a fine red paste underneath a Transformer's metal heel.

Barnett, in a rather snazzy hat (not enough comic characters wear hats these days... sad) pops in to visit Josie and not-a-Jewish-stereotype Donnie Finkleberg to point out the weird graffiti that has popped up on such famous landmarks as Mount Rushmore, the Gateway Arch and... uh, a football stadium in Wyoming. What, Wyoming doesn't have anything more iconic? Bad times.

In Washington DC we find out that Runabout and Runamuck have been following the abominable Noah and his family around the country, vandalising stuff. As Decepticon plans go, it's... pretty lame. I mean, graffiti's okay, but it's no "attack dam with giant robo-penis", is it? They tag the Washington Monument, but seem confused that nobody understands their witty bon mots. Yeah, guys, 'cause you've seen all that Cybertronean writing all over the place since you arrived, right?

Through dedicated detective work (okay, so Noah's dad told them), Circuit Breaker and her team deduce that the Transformers are following the family, and plan to stop them before they can deface Independence Hall. She ends up starting a big ol' laser fight above the city, pretty much not helped at all by the weird flying saucer thingies that RAAT have all of a sudden.

In the fight, it looks like Noah (oh GOD how I despise that child) is going to get smushed by falling masonry, but just when it looks like I might just start enjoying this issue, Circuit Breaker swoops in to save him, getting blasted for her troubles. Barnett gives her quite the chewing out, possibly because he too thinks the demon child deserves to die, and throws her off the case. Even crazy ol' Josie can't argue with a hat that snazzy.

Not-a-Jewish-stereotype Donnie Finkleberg has a cunning plan, though; why not use all those GIANT ROBOTS she has lying around the place. "But... they're robots! You're asking me to interface with robots!" she protests. It might just be me, but that makes it sound like he's just asked her to star in some 'specialist' robot-themed video material...

Anyway, Barnett goes off to set an ambush in the Statue of Liberty, although seeing as their bullets can't harm the two 'Cons, it's all pretty pointless. Maybe they forgot they were fighting giant armored robots, or something? Even worse, this time the meanies write in English! Nooooes! "Humans are wimps!" We'll be a laughing stock in the unlikely event that yet another alien race comes down to visit us! *shakes fist*

But... what's this? Why, it's Circuit Breaker, wired up to a BADLY COBBLED-TOGETHER COMPOSITE ROBOT. I'm... not quite sure why she couldn't just control one normal Autobot body; I mean, this one doesn't even have feet! It might be ugly, but it has it where it counts, 'Kblam'ing the two Decepticons into pieces. Josie even takes a certain celebratory phrase a little too literally; "Ah, but it is I who have the last laugh, robots! HA HA HA!"

You'd think Barnett would be happy at actually having a succesful RAAT mission for once, but no; he fires both Circuit Breaker and not-a-Jewish-stereotype Donnie Finkleberg cause it turns out those pesky Autobots only helped on the condition that they could put themselves back together and run away immediately afterwards. Who would have thought it; Josie might be an insane, exhibitionist paranoiac, but she never welshes on a deal.

She, presumably, goes back to wandering around aimlessly in a trenchcoat, and not-a-Jewish-stereotype Donnie Finkleberg goes back to his crummy apartment. Oh well, buddy, at least you have your blood money for handing in Skids... fifty thousand dollars? To the Statue of Liberty Repair Fund? Oh, not-a-Jewish-sterotype Donnie Finkleberg, you're a REAL hero after all! Now, get the hell out of my Transformers comic, pointless human character!

...still, Megatron and Optimus Prime in a battle to the death next issue! I bet that'll be good, right?

...right?

YOMTOV WATCH!
Because since the accident, he's only been a half Nelson

Not fixed!
-Runabout and Runamuck have their colors switched in one panel while fighting Circuit Breaker in Philadelphia!
_________________
You exist because we allow it. You will end because we demand it.

Oh, and OK to print...

[temple]

Issue #24: Afterdeath!

Well, this cover is a relief. After that 'next issue' blurb last time round, I was expecting an ACTUAL fight to the death between Optimus and Megatron. Turns out it's all part of a videogame, those tricksy Marvel people. I should have known they wouldn't be so stupid as to kill off one of the two main characters. Hey, after reading this comic, maybe child-me will get down the cinema to watch the recent Transformers: the Movie, so I can enjoy my alive-and-well Transformers buddies even more.

...also, how good is that videogame for the eighties? I don't remember having anything LIKE that. I remember my Atari 2600 being the most awesome thing EVER, and I remember the amazement of new games being so complex that they filled an ENTIRE CASSETTE TAPE, but even Frogger didn't look as good as this!

Okay, so we meet the player of these games, Ethan Zachary. He's the kind of responsible young adult that uses his workplace's supercomputer and fifty-foot screen for playing videogames. I bet he steals paperclips, too. His colleague Margaret is more interested in finishing her work on something called the hydrothermocline, but there are subtle hints that she wouldn't mind a bit of extracurricular 'roleplaying' with young Ethan as well.

"There are a lot of other things you could do to relax, Ethan," she nudges, but sadly he's as oblivious as most videogaming nerds. When he talks about entering a back door, he's talking cheatcodes, people. "I think've heard too much," says Margaret, and I heartily agree. What a loser!

At the Ark, Wheeljack finally yanks out the bug that Bombshell stuck into Prime back in #22, which is handy, nay, almost unbelievably convenient, because they can overhear the 'Cons' plans to attack Ethan's lab. That way, when Megs and the Combaticons arrive, Optimus and the Protectobots are there waiting for them. Hang on a minute, have I missed their origin stories or something? *goes back and checks* Nope, I guess after shoehorning in several dozen rationalised new characters, Bob's finally given up. Whatever.

We get all set up for a classic Defensor/Bruticus smackdown, but then for budgetary reasons (Don Perlin was on his last pencil) Megatron realises that a fight might destroy the very tech he came there to get. Luckily, no-life weiner Ethan has an alternative plan; why not fight... in a VIDEOGAME? Awesome! It'll be like Tron, but without Shockwave-soundalike David Warner or neon jumpsuits.

Megatron ups the stakes, though... whoever loses the game... gets destroyed in real life! Dun dun DUN! Although, if that happened in more games, you might get less profanities and casual racism on XBox Live... at least after the first few executions. The Autobots agree, and within moments they're in the curiously bland virtual Multi-world. Everybody splits up, the better to showcase their toy abiliti... uh, the better to explore.

In vineland, the land of vines (none vinier), Streetwise and First Aid tangle (heh) with Swindle and Brawl. The Cons get the drop on them, but end up getting ambushed by the apparently sentient vines (from vineland) and blasted to pieces.

Meanwhile, in the cloud steppes (made up of... oh, you can figure it out), Blades and Groove face off with Vortex and Blast Off, and again win the day with the help of the local inhabitants, who they refuse to let die. Hmmm... sanctity of life as a personal code... I wonder where Bob is going with this... somewhere non-idiotic, I hope...

And finally, in the slimepit (this virtual world... is pretty unfocused, isn't it? I mean, where's the traditional ice level? Or the lava one?) Hotspot and Onslaught go Mano-y-mano, and... yup, you guessed it; it's the Autobot's aid of the local people that helps him to triumph. If the moral of this issue was a hammer, Bob would be smashing your teeth out with it.

That just leaves Prime and Megatron to finish things in Metropipe (that's more like it; maybe someone's played Super Mario after all). Megatron gets pretty soundly thrashed, but... oh teh noes! He knows all about Ethan's cheat code, and uses it to blast Prime over a cliff. Things are looking pretty bleak... child-temple is welling up... and then Prime pulls down the tower behind Megatron, sending him plummeting into the abyss. And the crowd goes wild! Okay, so maybe a few pixelated citizens fell as well, but who gives a $£%&, right? They're sprites!

All right, so time for the victory lap, right, Optimus?

...Optimus?

...what do you mean, "knowingly harmed innocents?"

...what do you mean, "press the button on my joystick?"

...

HOLY CRAP, THEY BLEW UP OPTIMUS! THATS THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN! Jeezus, Ethan, you didn't HAVE to do what he said, you know? And I mean, you could still press the button to blow up Megatron as well; he's standing right there! No? Just gonna let him go, huh? Well, thanks a %&£$ing bunch. The Decepticons leave with the hydrowhatsit, the Autobots leave with Opti-chunks on a flatbed.

Oh, but what's this? Ethan has stored Optimus's personality? Wait, on a floppy disk??! That doesn't make sense, even by eighties logic, Bob! But I guess at least once Ethan gives the disk to the Autobots, they can bring their beloved leader ba- why the hell is he putting it in a random diskcase and putting it away? WHAT THE &%$£ING HELL, ZACHARY?

Sorry, people, sorry; I guess my childhood scars haven't quite healed yet. I'll try and do the next issue once I get over thi-THAT WAS SO UNBELIEVABLY &%£$ING STUPID! NOT COOL, BOB! NOT COOL AT ALL!

YOMTOV WATCH!
Because too many people have punched him at cons

-You know, either I'm becoming inured to Nelson's endearing incompetence, or my vision has been clouded by childhood rage, but I didn't notice any mistakes this issue. I guess that's ONE thing in its favour...
_________________
You exist because we allow it. You will end because we demand it.

Oh, and OK to print...

[CyclonusArmada]

An entire Alien Robot consciousness stored on a single Floppy Disc...

_________________

[ultramagnus1]

[CyclonusArmada]

Perhaps the most farfetched G1 idea i've ever heard of. Floppy Discs barely held a large amount of text, let alone anything else.
_________________

[ultramagnus1]

[CyclonusArmada]

So much for 'The Greatest Autobot of them all". Not even Wheelie has that big a weakness.
_________________